Well...

The Knotty Lady knit her first piece in 1997 -- a great green blob that grew and grew into useless blobbyness for YEARS -- until she walked into a knitting store five years later and asked for help. Now she teaches others to conquer their fear of needles -- and laugh at her corny jokes.

The Knotty Lady
Ask the Knotty Lady all of your knitting questions. She is an expert at making up answers that seem credible.