Friday, October 28, 2011


I had this really snarky post ready. All about this hand-dyed yarn company that done me wrong. Who either sold me a defective dress pattern, or a shorted me several yards on the skein of yarn. And how their customer service told me to stick it. And how I defied them and turned the stinking thing into a sweater. Seen here:
Sesame Street: toddler tranquilizer for photography.

I frogged this thing three times, checked and changed and rechecked my gauge, and still came up with a "dress" that was at least six inches too short.

So my snarky story was really funny. But then they had to go and email me tonight. And tell me how sorry they are. And how they are sending me more yarn. For free. Which kind of makes me the jerk. Because, let's face it: it's probably my mistake. I'm not sure how, but still.

So for now, until the new, free, customer-friendly yarn arrives, the dress is a sweater. Which my daughter LOVES. Which makes me so happy. Because nothing* makes eight thousand tiny handmade stitches worth it like hearing "Mommy, love swea-tah! Soft! Love swea-tah!"

Thank you Three Irish Girls. I'm a jerk.

*But free hand-dyed yarn comes pretty close.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

In which I watch too much TV

I distinctly remember a co-worker's comment about my husband and I going on dates. Eight years ago this web editor said "You guys still go on dates? That'll end as soon as you have kids." I said nothing but gave him a poor-little-you smile with a condescending head-tilt. Because we would never be that boring. We had parties. And shows. And wine bars. And social lives. And yet, that statement stuck in my head. And has come back to haunt me all these years later.

Now that Wednesday is Psych Night. Thursday is Vampire Diaries Night. Friday is Grimm Night. Saturday is Doctor Who Night. Sunday is Walking Dead Night. And Monday is Castle Night and now, also Once Upon a Time Night. But here's the upside. People always ask me how I find time to knit. The answer is I knit while I watch TV, when I'm too tired to do much else anyway and I'm sort-of spending time with my husband who is parked in the armchair grading papers, talking to himself and occasionally asking what dessert might be. So it's couple-time. Sort of.

So now that I've made my excuse for the me-shaped dent in the sofa, have you seen Once Upon a Time? I was prepared to hate it because Precinct 17 wasn't picked up and I'm irrational like that. But it was so cute in a Pushing-Daisies-meets-Princess-Bride way. Let's hope more in a Princess Bride way since Pushing Daisies met an unceremonious and quick ending. Which I am still bitter about, ABC. Don't think I've forgiven you.

My fear is that since it comes from the people who brought you Lost, OUAT will drop seemingly meaningful clues and half-revelations season after season that amount to nothing but They're All Dead (sorry for no spoiler warning but if you haven't seen Lost, now you won't have to waste your time).

You may have noticed Tuesday is missing. Tuesday is with Sunday's underwear. Because of God.*

*According to Meg Ryan.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

I buy too much junk from Target

Martha Stewart did mummy cupcakes a few years ago and they looked marvelous (don't expect a link, I'm too lazy to look it up right now). So these were inspired by those. I found the candy eyes two years ago* at Target but discovered that having a three-week-old was not conducive to baking. Or eating. Or sleeping.

We are scarrrrrrrrrry. Because we will stain everything we come in contact with.
Yes, they are red velvet. No, I did not make them from scratch -- it's a box mix. Yes, I know how to make them from scratch. No, it's not worth it, especially when the designated House Cupcake Eater generally licks off the frosting and declares the item "Done!"

*Don't you dare judge me for using two-year old candy eyes. If you're stomach is strong enough to eat straight sugar, I'm sure you've built up an immunity to whatever is NOT growing on these.